The Permanent Houseguest
Unlike houseguests we’ve hosted in the past, this one was a little different. She was dirty, awfully dependent, emotionally needy, difficult to communicate with, and to top it all off – she’s not even vegetarian. But, if my Bengali mama taught me one thing it is to be hospitable to the people who you invite into your home. So we supplied our visitor with her favorite meat meals and snacks.
Our cat Crusty was wary of our houseguest from the beginning, actively ignoring her in a way that only cats and middle school girls know how to do. Our neighbors on the other hand, instantly fell for her. Yeah I knew she was good looking, but I didn’t understand the power that attractive people have until I started walking around the city with her. Let me describe it to you. Imagine you have a really shitty job, but the one perk is that you get to be in close proximity to someone gorgeous. For example, the lady who powders Aishwarya Rai’s forehead and gets to hop around town on errands with her. Walking around town with our visitor felt like that. All these months I assumed my neighbors were unfriendly. But I realize now that they were not aloof, they just didn’t see me. Its because average-looking people are invisible. But when you walk next to an attractive person you get to experience what life is like for them. Strangers smile at you and say hello. They want to start a conversation and tell you to have a nice day. Attractive people live different lives completely. My neighbors started talking to me and acting friendly overnight. It was sort of like what adolescent girls go through when they have a growth spurt and start to grow breasts over the summer. The journey from unnoticeable to noticeable was intoxicating and I was starting to get addicted to the attention that came with being good-looking by proxy.
So now it has been two months and our houseguest is no longer a guest. We decided she should live with us and become part of our family. In a week, we went from being a “couple” to feeling like a “family.” Everyone meet our dog Belly. Our 1-year anniversary gift to each other. She is a bull mastiff-pitbull-terrier mix that we rescued from a shelter through a foster-to-adoption program. The cops found her abandoned in a park at 6 months. She is awesome and we love having her. She is the first dog I have ever owned and I didn’t know how much work they were going to be . . . which is why I haven’t posted in months. Now that I am adjusted, you can expect the same Hindu/Jewish/Veg/Non-Veg/Intercultural postings again now with a splash of canine anecdotes.